Caregiver Tips

Caregiver Tip No. 1: Take Care of Yourself First

If you want to give good care, you have to take care of yourself first. Caregivers tend to deny their own needs. This strategy may work fine for short-term caregiving. For long-term caregiving, however, it is sure to lead to problems.

Several problems can occur when caregivers don't take good care of themselves:

• They become ill.
• They become depressed.
• They "burn out" and stop providing care altogether.

These are bad for both the caregiver and the person receiving the care.

On the other hand, when caregivers take time to care for themselves, good things happen:

• They avoid health problems.
• They feel better about themselves.
• They have more energy and enthusiasm for helping others and can continue giving care.

When you take on the task of caregiving, time becomes your most important resource. Caregiving requires a large time commitment, perhaps all of the extra time you had for yourself. If that happens, problems can arise.

The best way to prevent the depression, frustration, and resentment that cause caregiver burnout is to hold back some time out of every day for yourself. If you wait until all of your chores and caregiving tasks are done before doing things for yourself, you will wait a very long time. Instead, decide on the minimum amount of time you need each day to meet your basic personal needs. Carve that time out of your schedule. Then figure out how the chores will get done.

Here are some important things that you need to find time to do—just for yourself:

• Get regular exercise, even just a few minutes several times a day. Exercise can be a good energizer for both physical and emotional health.
• Maintain a healthy diet. When you are busy giving care, it may seem easier to eat fast food than to prepare healthy, low-fat meals. However, healthy meals are easy to prepare, and a good diet will give you more energy to carry you through each day.
• Make time for an activity you enjoy—reading, listening to music, painting or doing crafts, playing an instrument—even if you can only do it for a few minutes each day. If you like to participate in church activities or take classes, ask a friend or family member to stay with your loved one for an hour or two once or twice a week so you can do those things.
• Recognize stress and take steps to manage it. Your need for relaxation increases during periods of caregiving. For more information about recognizing and managing stress, see the topic Stress Management.
• Recognize and deal with signs of depression. Depression is common in caregivers. Maintaining a positive self-image is the most important thing you can do for yourself. Use self-care and ask for extra support when the earliest signs of depression appear. If that doesn't work, seek professional help. Also, be on the lookout for signs of depression in the person you are caring for. Depression is common in older adults, especially those who have chronic diseases or who are disabled. Encouraging the person to seek treatment for depression will make your job easier in the long run. For more information, see the topic Depression.
• Deal with important issues in your life, and maintain supportive relationships. Being a caregiver adds another dimension to your life, but it does not mean you have to put the rest of your life on hold. Issues involving your family and other relationships, your finances, your job, and other responsibilities still need to be addressed. Taking time to deal with issues as they arise and planning for the future are an important part of taking care of yourself. Make a conscious effort every day to stay connected with family, friends, and others in your support system.
• Let go of guilt. The best way to let go of guilt is to accept the fact that you just can't be everything to everyone all of the time. Acknowledge your limitations, and focus on what is most important. Tell yourself that you are doing a good job at a very difficult task, and ask for help. Feeling guilty is often a sign that you need a break from your caregiving schedule. Ask your friends and family to pitch in.

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Author:	Debby Golonka, MPH	Last Updated: March 15, 2007
Medical Review:	Patrice Burgess, MD - Family Medicine
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