While older teens may seem mature at times, they often will still
have periods of childish behavior. Those who have not yet established a
personal identity and sense of independence may try defining themselves through
rebellious or difficult behavior. Teens learn about themselves through
expanding their relationships beyond close same-sex friendships and through
exposure to different world views and lifestyles.
It is normal for teenagers to spend hours looking at themselves in
the mirror. While parents often wonder if their teenagers are vain, this
behavior is a way to "practice" and evaluate how they appear to others. Usually
teens outgrow it as they mature.
Teens become more comfortable with their own identity in the later
teen years, and their peers become less important. Teens begin to mix in
different-sex groups and go out on one-on-one dates. They may form strong bonds
with adult mentors or younger children. Teens learn about themselves through
these relationships and through exposure to different world views and
lifestyles.
In a natural step from childhood to adulthood, teens begin to seek
intimate relationships, which become an important part of their identity. Some
teens' emotional investment in such relationships is immense, which makes them
vulnerable. Parents can help by recognizing when relationships are intensifying
and talking openly, without judgment, about the possible future impacts.