Helping teens who are grieving
What's different about teens who are grieving?
Teens express their grief differently depending on their age and emotional maturity. The teen years can be divided into 3 developmental phases: the early, middle, and late teen years. Each age group differs regarding the expression of grief.
- The early teen years (ages 12 to 14) are a time when teens search for the answer to the question, "Am I okay?" At this phase, teens are very concerned about fitting in and often act as if there is an imaginary audience watching everything they do. These teens may feel ill at ease when expressing grief. Since they usually are not concerned about what other people think unless it relates directly to them, they may have a very difficult time understanding another person's reaction to loss if it is not the same as theirs.
- The middle teen years (ages 14 to 16) are a time when teens believe that they are indestructible and that bad things won't happen to them. They cannot imagine their own death and often think they will live forever. These teens may express their grief by taking unhealthy risks, such as driving too fast or drinking alcohol.
- The late teen years (ages 16 to 18) are a time when teens search for meaningful relationships. These teens are better able to understand complex relationships and are more interested in another person's point of view. They have a better understanding of others' thoughts and feelings. Teens of this age grieve much as adults do.
What's different about helping teens when they are grieving?
It may be difficult to know how to approach a teen and help him or her through the grief process. Because teens are concerned about fitting in and not calling attention to themselves, they may feel awkward talking about their feelings. They may worry about what other people think about them. In addition, because teens are searching for their own values and beliefs, they are often uncomfortable talking about their feelings with adults. They may worry that adults will try to give them answers and not listen to how they feel.
To help a teen who is grieving, you need to listen to the teen and watch his or her behavior. This will help you determine how uncomfortable the teen is about talking with you. Ask the teen to let you know how he or she feels. Do not press the teen to talk until he or she is ready. Be attentive and listen when the teen chooses to talk about his or her feelings.
Test Your Knowledge
Young teens often express their feelings in the same way as adults do.
Most teens like to share their feelings with adults.
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Why does a teen who is grieving need help?
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| Author: | Jeannette Curtis | Last Updated: November 12, 2007 |
| Medical Review: | Kathleen Romito, MD - Family Medicine Sidney Zisook, MD - Psychiatry | |
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